Gray Matters by Stuart Carlson and Jerry Resler for November 13, 2012

Before you drink it run a coaxial cable to the bathroom and set up a TV in front of the john. Put a generous coating of vaseline “back there”. Sit down and hang on for dear life.

You may experience some discomfort.

Colonoscopies aren’t so bad; it’s like pinching your upper lip and then PULLING IT OVER THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD! (with apologies to Carol Burnett for paraphrasing her description of birthing)

The hardest part was trying to let the air out after. FART!

And it taste horriable, too!

They give you flavor packs to mix with the liquid. My screening nurse told me to use packs of Crystal Lite lemonade mix. That, and chilling the liquid after you mix it makes it much more palatable.

It does seem that big by the time you’re at the last glass of the disgusting stuff

The taste make me feel like throwing up.

yup.

The included flavor packets are pathetically weak. The Crystal Lite lemonade would be better, but a large jigger of vodka or gin with each dose would be the best…half way through the cistern, you wouldn’t care anymore. Of course, you’d never find the commode, either, so that would be bad.

Whoa that big?!!!

I think this is only funny to old people that had one. Butt for us that had it is true and funny

Talk about something being “Instant”. Don’t drink it too far away from the “porcelain throne”!!!!!

They told me to mix the powder (full bottle of Miralax) in 1/2 gallon of Gatorade and drink 1 glass every 15 min until gone. I’ve never much liked Gatorade and now I HATE the stuff.

the colonoscopy itself isn’t bad, you sleep through it. the day before is the worst part.