Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for December 17, 2012
Transcript:
horoscope capricorn your tin can habit is get-ting way out of hand aquarius check the kitchen drawer. your coupons have expired. pisces today they will remove your little castle. tomorrow...? aries i'm sorry, we have no horoscope listings under "aries" at this time. taurus you burn oil and pull to the left. gemini you are confident your court appearance will vindicate you & allow you to put these ab-surd allegations behind you. cancer shellfish is very high in cholesterol. beware leo time to thin the herd. virgo you're 39. lose the cats & the sci-fi fandom & get a date. libra you amass enough gravity to attract small satellites. scorpio your plans for global dom-ination fail when all your toadies strike, demanding nicer jumpsuits. sagittarius the "mr. ed" them song sticks in your head all day, starting right now.
Sisyphos almost 12 years ago
Poor Scorpio. Poor Pisces. Poorer Aries.—Do you sense a pattern here? This must be the “exclusively BAD luck” horoscope!
Piksea Premium Member almost 12 years ago
And now, we all share the fate of Sagittarius. Thanks a lot.
Ermine Notyours almost 12 years ago
Virgo: there’s a shortage of available women in science fiction fandom. Trust me on this.
Perkycat almost 12 years ago
I am Gemini and I AM innocent on all charges! (trust me)Thankfully I can’t remember the Mr. Ed song and nobody has to write it or post a link here because I’m not coming back here today! I don’t want to know.
John Glynn creator almost 12 years ago
Cancer in the Clubhouse!
Srover almost 12 years ago
As a Sag, I find this strip evil!
vwdualnomand almost 12 years ago
don’t believe in horoscopes. make your own destiny.
Rottiluv almost 12 years ago
Damn it, what’s wrong with red velour! I got them red velour!!!
Ida No almost 12 years ago
As a Leo, I finally feel vindicated.
neatslob Premium Member almost 12 years ago
Leo looks a bit like Big Shirley.