Phoebe and Her Unicorn by Dana Simpson for December 04, 2012

Aaaaghhhh! War on Christmas! Someone call Fox Spews! Everyone freak out! * snerk *

Marigold can fix it with her horn.

“There’s something stuck up in the chimneyand I don’t know what it isBut it’s been there all night longWell I waited up for Santa all Christmas nightBut he never came an’ it don’t seem right. And there’s something in the chimneyand it doesn’t make a soundAnd I wish you a Merry Christmas”

— From The Chimney Song

Is it just me or ‘The Chimney Song’ is a less-known version of ‘Livin on the edge’?

That’s what the Gloo is for.

Eep…: )love it.

No, but dehorning a unicorn would be. Those shears are much too large for precision crafting.

Phoebe, Gloo can fix that.

Ah, Santa knows it was an accident :P

Thus began the legend of The Headless Sleighman. Imagine the shrieks of the children when he comes down the chimney. Or shakes his fists in frustration at gifts of milk and cookies.

“Gloo”? Way to educate kids.

Uh oh!

I can think of a lot of great Christmas songs if any one wants to sing along.I am dreaming of a white unicorn Frosty the snowacorn Rudolph the red horned unicorn here comes Marigold I saw Mommy Kissing my Unicorn All I want for Christmas is Unicorn Teeth I want a Unicorn for Christmas Jingle Horns Unicorn Rock Deck the Unicorn Silent Unicorn Little Unicorn Boy O little Lair of Unicorns Hark the Harold Unicorns Silver Unicorns Unicorn Ride the 12 Magical things of Christmas Unicorns a Wassailing (or is it A Caroling i think that’s right but the other way sounds funnier) We Three Unicorns Lill Unicorn Mari Grandma got skewered by a Unicorn Welcome Unicorn Im getting nothing from the Unicorn Unicorn Time O’ Unicorn They Call me Unicorn Miser Babes in Unicorn Land The Sugar Plumb Unicorn March of the Wooden Unicorns I herd the Unicorns on Christmas Eve Aye said the Unicorn Christmas is coming the Unicorn is getting fat My favorite magical things The Unicorn Shoes Unicorns at Ground Zero etc I have to go before I can think of more but you guys have fun with that.

That “Gloo” reminds me of a kiddie paste of my childhood that would never get past the censors, today, a plastic tube with a dopey-looking cartoon Indian wearing a “feather” that served as a paste spreader, the whole product rejoicing in the name of “Stick-Um-Goo”. As I recall, though, it was pretty good paste (to paste with, not to eat; I was never into that).

By the way, those scissors are indeed rather large. When I think of what could be found around the house when I was a kiddy-wink, I start wondering whether Phoebe has gotten into her mom’s sewing gear. Or do moms even do that anymore? (My mother made nearly all her own clothes and nearly all my kid sister’s, from scratch. She owned her own dummy, a chalk blower, a gadget for making metal buttons wrapped in the same cloth as the dress the buttons would go on, and other fascinating toys, but I do remember the hard and fast rule: the sewing scissors were /only/ for cutting cloth. I was never particularly interested in the actual sewing, but her stash of cool gadgets was endlessly amusing.)

i-Gloo is what the Eskimos use for caulking their snow homes.