Monty by Jim Meddick for December 26, 2012

The weird thing is… it’s an artificial tree

lol I learned that if you cut a live tree at -10*C or colder, this is what the needles do no matter how much water you give it.

But what of “the 12 Days of Christmas,” which begin with Christmas Day and end at the traditional date (6 January) of the Epiphany (a.k.a. Feast of the Three Kings)? Shucks, I can remember when it was custom to set up and decorate your Christmas tree on Christmas Eve!

But they are really fun to vacuum up………

But if you don’t sacrifice an evergreen, how will the sun ever come back so you can plant crops?

Some bubble lights and they’d have roasted house instead of X-mas leftovers. Remember those? Like some women I’ve known – hot, but beware of fire…

Tree Nudity. This feature may not be safe for work.

Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

- Kin Hubbard

This is why I love fake Xmas trees. There is nothing enticing about a real tree. I even hate the smell of pine. Ugh.

See! Everything worked out all right.

Yup, that’s about it.