Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for February 21, 2013
February 18, 2013
February 25, 2013
Transcript:
some advice for the academy it's oscar time! but what if some pushy winner won't shut up? actor: i'd like to thank my agent & my mother & my sommelier & l. ron hubbard & my cats - what th - a rolling blackout might slow him down. actor: & my producer & my feng shuist & my rolodex & hey! i'm not finished! blamo try an exploding oscar with a 2 minute fuse. res hollywood! actor: & my personal trainer & my geneticist & no! no! get them away from me! a dispirited group of oscar winners from years past who've slipped back into obscurity could be herded onstage. actor: & i'd like to thank god for believing in me! god: oh, yeah? an act of god. when approached, he said he'd love to help, but only with best picture, maybe best director.
Ida No over 11 years ago
You know what would work even better? Pull all the tables and chairs from the audience floor, and set up a free bar in the lobby of a hotel across the street. No audience, and there’s no one to impress with long speeches.
Sisyphos over 11 years ago
In an Oscar Tribute to Tradition, just give him the old vaudeville hook!
Ermine Notyours over 11 years ago
Getting up and going to the bathroom during these parts of the show works for me.
6turtle9 over 11 years ago
Better yet, turn off the T.V.
Gilda Blackmore over 11 years ago
Aw Gee! I don’t have TV and no one invited me over to see the AAs. Sob.