Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for July 04, 2013

Transcript:

our fireworks heritage illuminations sale on sparkers in 1776, the first roadside fireworks stand, patritick illuminations, opens in south carolina. it is later sold to "south of the border" & renamed "pedro's beeg kaboom room." guy: mr. adams? mr. jefferson? oh, dear. in 1826, former presidents john adams & thomas jefferson are involved in a huge july 4th mishap. a major cover-up ensues. in 1889, the national fourth of july celebration debuts on the mall in washington, d.c. it is an extremely low-key affair viewed by an invitation-only group of vips. the park service, angry about having to scrub out the black stains left on the sidewalks by those "snakes", later puts the official crowd count at 12. crowd: ah. ooh. ah. ooh. uh-huh. fiszztt