Lio by Mark Tatulli for July 02, 2013

OUCH!

But will Lio think it funny when his Dad clobbers him? With full justification.

I read a study the other day suggesting it was far better to squat than to sit; squatting straightens out the colon (easing “evacuation”), and also lessens the chances of ‘roids.Can’t say I’d be likely to try that (except perhaps on a camping trip), but people all over the world do it that way.

That was not nice, Lio! And if Dad ever wriggles out of the toilet and dries off his behind, I’ll bet he wales on yours!

It seems Lio has degradated to toilet humor.

Oh dear! Oh Dad! Oh No!

And this is the reason I always whip the seat before sitting down even in my own house.

Dad’s day just gone to pot.

This seems off the strips usual standard

I suspect Dad has the first day of school circled in heavy red marker on his calendar.

At least it wasn’t super glue.

Don’t be mad, be glad, dad; he COULD have used Krazy Glue,

TMI!

Slicker than…..uh…. you know.

The doctor was on a cruise ship moored near Vancouver, British Columbia, when he responded to an emergency call over the ship’s loudspeaker. He was asked to administer first aid to a woman who had sustained a serious pelvic injury.

“A 70-year-old, slightly obese woman was in her cabin lying on the bunk in the right lateral recumbent position,” the doctor wrote. She was alert but moaning in pain. “Protruding behind her on the bed were several feet of small intestine with [connective tissue] attached.”

The woman said she had flushed the toilet while seated. Evidently her bottom had completely sealed the toilet opening and the suction had “pulled everything out.” The woman kept repeating, "Why didn’t they warn me?’

The only warning was a sign near the toilet saying, “This toilet operates on vacuum system. Please do not throw any object except toilet paper.”

- That sucks!

Actually, one of the senior year stunts my class pulled was Vaseline-ing the faculty toilet seats. Thing is, I went to an all-girls school and the faculty were all nuns. I think they were glad to see us go. Uh, no pun intended.

Lio’s poor suffering Dad.

Yikes!

Not cool!

Toilet humor.

Trying to be slick, Lio?