The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for September 12, 2013

Forget Nancy Sinatra, he should try some sole music.

Flat feet might have gotten you out of thr Big One and I don’t know about the police academy, but they didn’t do a lot for you in ’66-69. Besides, American Idol will take ANYBODY.

And he’s a sharp dresser.

Simon Cowell is now his arch-enemy.Maybe lifts would help?

The song for a generation of us Vietnam Vets.Nancy will always be in our hearts.Jane Fonda on the bottom of our boots like crap.It means exactly what it means. “These boots were made for walking And that’s just what they’ll doOne of the days these boots are gonna walk all over you.”It may take awhile but WE will walk over you eventually.Every Vet here knows that.

I was unaware until now, that the army and the police academy even audition feet.

Veteran: Even when valid, it was no excuse. Eye chart: [me, truthfully] “The top letter is E, because it always is, but I really can’t see it.” They declared me fit despite bottle-bottom glasses just two stages short of needing a dog. I took my legal deferments like a chicken hawk, even though I am neither.

That is what I did. Better to chose than be chosen.Funny part is we looked like the Wildebeests in Africa crossing the river with the Crocodile.The Recruitment Centers were all across the street US Hwy 1 at the U of Maryland Campus. While we sat in the Student U building watching the LIVE drawings on TV as numbers would call some would get up and leave looking dejected. Soon there was a procession all heading for the Center. But the roadway was like the river it caused many to hesitate while the Recruiters walked back and forth like primeval predators looking for the unsuspecting prey. As we would cross here they would come….join this join that…we will guarantee this and that. I edged it out coming in from the flanks. I had my plan which was FLIGHT anything to do with aircraft. 1. Knew better than to talk to the Marines (I love them to all get out) but they are just too crazy for me.2. The Air Force was taking no one. Not interested unless you had a degree. Pilots were at a all time loss over in Nam.3. The Navy wanted to stick me in a Sub. I wanted Aircraft even carrier deck duty but they wanted me (at 200 plus pounds) in a Sub. My dad was a Merchant Seaman in WWII in those convoys. He warned me it is an awful long way to walk across the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean.4. Never even considered the Guard. National or Coast.5. Left the Army. They were great Helicopter Repairman. Fix’em and fly in’em.Signed up. Day I reported good news…….no longer needed as Helicopter repairman……63F20 Recovery specialist. A wrecker driver. To late to back out and was not going to anyway.Basic training was found I had a unique ability which ended up with me volunteering for Special Ops duty over in Nam. Covert, behind lines stuff only now coming to light we were even doing that. All done with that sent to Alaska as the “wrecker” driver. Took command of the Recovery unit at Fort Greeley Arctic Test Center. Two big 5 ton trucks M548 and M816 and one M-88 tank retriever. The M-88 was mine. Two years never tossed the tracks or broke down.Recovered all and never lost one.

It’s a little pitchy, dawg.

Veteran: There was bit more to it. I was in AFROTC, figuring I would fly a desk somewhere and maybe get to learn to fly on the side. Just before contract time, they suddenly changed the rules – you had to pass flight physical to be commissioned. As I have often said, “I washed out of ROTC” after two years invested. There was definitely a sense of betrayal there, although it was nothing compared to the treatment of veterans who have come back with PTSD, traumatic brain injury, missing limbs, etc. and have been thrown on the ash heap by an uncaring VA. As I try to get into the Green Party platform, “Give disabled veterans whatever help they need, and stop disabling more.”