For Better or For Worse by Lynn Johnston for April 16, 2000

Transcript:

TV: Click! Chet Whiffle, star of "Disgustingly Wealthy," is splitting with his wife of 30 years! He's been seen recently with young pop star Vanessa Velour!! When asked to comment, spokespersons for his wife said... Elly: John... have you ever thought about having an affair? John: Nope! I wouldn't want to do something like that to my family! Besides,... I'd have to take off at least 30 pounds...I'd need to exercise, get a tan, tighten up some of this flab!! Then, there'd be all the sneaking around and excuses... So, I'm happy just the way things are!