Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 21, 2005

hey im a capricorn

TERMINATE OFFENSIVE RAT…………………ANGRY CAPRICORN MODE ACTIVATED……………………………………..

Anything about Taurus…..HE DIES

I is Aquarius, which means I’m too creative to be roasted, cus I come up with even more offensive lines.

I’m a Gemini. My siblings are actually twins. Their birthstone is amethyst. My favorite color is purple. Anyone know if you can legally trade birthdays?

Ha, nerds. I’m a Leo

pigs not capricorn actually, his bday is march

James Randi used to do a horoscope column. He bought a book of daily horoscopes, cut them out, drew twelve at random from a hat, and they became the day’s horoscopes. Standing in a line one day, he heard some woman praising his horoscopes to the skies for their accuracy, and he forswore all woo and superstition forever. After getting rich as an illusionist, he offered prize money (eventually growing to $1M US) to anyone who could demonstrate supernatural abilities to his satisfaction under controlled conditions.

Nobody ever collected.