Broom Hilda by Russell Myers for April 14, 2010

Sit back, close your eyes, and think of something soothing……………..

Then, “Tell me, Broomie, do you feel like your inner self is expressing itself????”

Now there’s a bar I might go to.

Wonder what his hourly rate is?

“But you’re a lot cheaper”.

Bartender Joe is forsaking his traditional duty? Must be burn-out; I think maybe he himself could use a session or two….

but can the shrink mix a drink

nice rhyme, Yukoner.

Tell us, Broomie, how do you feel about that?

Considering what a psychiatrist charges compared to a bartender, it may be time to find a new tavern!

(notice that nobody’s there but Broomie!)

One head shrinking session free after five rounds bought for everybody. (10 or more patrons required) (Not available during happy hour)

\\//_

I love my shrink. He tells me everyone else is to blame. Course Johnny Walker tells me the same thing and is easier to get an appointment.

Yeah, but the customers are still within beer-shot.

First you talk about your feelings, then you drink until you feel nothing. In a weird way it works.

How do you make the drink ‘Freudian Slip’?

Take 1 part Gin, 1part Wild Turkey, 1 part Vodka, One banana peel…over ice, club soda…..

Don’t drink it…..analyze it, and say…..

Just ‘what the hell did I make here just now’.?..

A Freudian Slippery Nipple?

I’ve heard of Pop Psychology, but never Liquor Psychiatry.

I guess the bartender didn’t want to run a Whine Bar.

Can the Doctor make a Schnapps Diagnosis?

If your beer has a head, does he shrink it?

Does he object whenever you use the term “beer nuts”?

Do customers end up Rorschach blotto?

Is Happy Hour now Making-Significant-Progress Hour, and does it end after 50 minutes?

“It’s 2:00! Closure Time! You don’t have to go home, and how does that make you feel?”

That one’s about to backfire. There goes Broomie’s drinking money.

“Zo, it is Happy Hour, yes? And you are not happy, no?”

He’s there for Depressed Hour.

“I’m sorry, your Happy Hour’s up.”

“I’m going to help you lift your spirits.”

Broomie could probably give the shrink some advice..

Like …shall I order this drink,or, just talk about my mother and dad .Just order some ‘witches brew’ and let the complexes fall where they may….Wand fixation,enchanted forest delusion.

Keep em’ coming Ftritzoid, and, Coyote…