Drabble by Kevin Fagan for January 15, 2015

I hate it when they take mine, it hurts my arm. Why does it have to be so darn tight?

Noone complains, so they just continue to pump it that tight.

Mine is digital.

Due to an injury to my right hand, a blood pressure cuff was used as a tourniquet. It was pumped up to the max. It was painful.

The sphygmomanometer should be pumped up while listening for pulse at the elbow and stopping when the pulse stops, then slowly releasing it. Many providers don’t take the time to listen when pumping and they pump it too high.

We have an automatic blood pressure device that pumps itself up while monitoring, so it stops itself when needed. One day we were taking a reading on a patient, and it just kept going up and up. When it got above 200 we decided it must be malfunctioning and turned it off. Got out the manual blood pressure cuff and took it the old-fashioned way. Turns out her systolic WAS above 200. We sent her to the hospital.

A nurse once told me (in a very patronizing tone, I might add) that it was tight due to my massive biceps.

Go ahead Doc, give Ralph a heart attack — and maybe even cause him to loose control of his bowels. (Of course, you wouldn’t be the one to clean that mess, so why worry?)

I smell a malpractice suit in your future, you quack.