Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for March 19, 2015

Transcript:

richard's poor almanac by richard thompson more things to worry about the toaster said with bold defiance, "the hell with y2k compliance - when the new millennium has turned all the toast will come out burned." "likewise," the juicer smiled, "all the juice will taste defiled." the coffee pot said, "me-l'll pour only stagnant tea." in the kids' room, on the shelf the windup monkey said, "myself, i'll not practice anything but stravinsky's 'rite of spring." the see 'n' say said, "if i'm used, i'll get them all confused-point me at a pig or horse and i'll curse in ancient norse." toy: groetsniig smoellyksnoe hvarskinki moe! a pair of pants, laid on a bed, laughed quite evilly and said, they'll think it's the apocalypse when my fly no longer zips." you think i joke about this stuff? read your zipper close enough- right now- do it! what's it say? wore than likely ykk. man: y and two k's i'm doomed!