Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for May 17, 2010

they’re hanging you out to dry

situation normal; all fouled up

That’s the cleaned-up version. It wasn’t originally fouled.

That’s the third time this week!

There might be something wrong with the carwash machine. Just sayin’.

I want to shoot those hectoring voice-over phone number people through the forehead with a crossbow.

http://www.comicssherpa.com/site/feature?uc_comic=cscwy&uc_full_date=20200517

Why watch that crap? Are the batteries of the remote empty? Or is that the phone in Claude’s hand (without an app to change channels)?

There appears to be some challenges working there.

If you’re lucky, it’s nowhere to be found until after you forgotten 1-800-222-222.

At least Alfred seems to have escaped, though without his hat.

Will…not…dial…

Today’s comic strip is going to be very, very difficult. Can you spot the two differences in the comic panels?

Howdy Cleo family….

It’s late…. but not everybody is here yet… so I can still welcome you all to

the May 17th  2020 “CLEO and COMPANY”

If you use this link, and bookmark it, it will take you to the current strip, every day on Sherpa…

http://www.comicssherpa.com/site/feature?uc_comic=cscwy

All the commercials I remember with repeated phone numbers like that were for products…

with the loud-voiced @#$% “Clap On; Clap Off!” guy….

and the even louder Billy Mays…

and phone numbers not only spoken, but plastered all over the screen in giant text.

Hardly ever on the network shows… but the UHF channels came in better… and the sitcom reruns I watched on them, were full of pitchmen.

I had no cable… just an old roof antenna…

An ancient TV, with a 3rd hand (at least) 30 pound VCR. No remote for either…

I’d have to stand up and quickly turn down the volume.

But I had a wheelchair bound neighbor I became friends with, and visited a lot.

She had a way bigger, newer, TV, with cable, a VCR, and remotes for everything…

It would have been fun, but she’d watch horrible reality shows… and Home Shopping Network and QVC.

I’d go home with those voices ringing in my consciousness….

not to mention wishing I could UNsee and UNhear most of the programs.

She’d even buy some of the products.

I’d say “You KNOW it’ll be junk!” … but the next time I visited, she’d unroll her new folding craft storage container, or demonstrate her new super-mop.

She bought green plastic produce bags that cost $20… when I found her some at the dollar store, they couldn’t possibly work.

Of course not, my dear… it’s your $20 investment… plus only $6.95 shipping ad handling…. that gives them their magic power.

Act now and get a second set FREE!

I want to thank everybody who popped up in answer to my request yesterday!

Thank you all!

It’s NOT that I’m complaining, if you don’t say much.

Not questioning your loyalty to our little community….LOL…

It’s just that these are troubling times….

The world outside my door seems surreal…. this virus coming out of nowhere, and normal routines up-ended.

Why, I have it first-hand that Plods has been in quarantine for 659,209 days!

I just wanted to see that you’re all OK, and safe.

Thanks for reassuring me.

Now STAY safe, please!

Oh… and Plods and Perkycat were talking about product shrinkage…

Well, a few months ago… BEFORE Covid-19… I actually called the company that makes my favorite TP….

(not that it can be had right now for love nor money.)

Sometimes I just have to express my outrage.

I said the package says each “Mega” roll is equivalent to FOUR “regular” rolls.

Mega used to be 380 sheets… maybe more, previously… but last year dropped to 330.

Now I’ve stopped buying it, because 6 rolls suddenly went up from $6 to well over $8… (about 40%!) and the rolls shrank to 308 sheets.

There are also “double” rolls with exactly half a Mega…

but I have never EVER seen “regular” rolls, with only 77 sheets… and I don’t believe they exist.

You have to quit saying 308 sheets is four rolls.

She stammered and said regular rolls were “available in some markets.”

LOL

Meanwhile… eBay says they don’t allow scalping due to the panic.. right…

Somebody was offering those $8+, 6-Mega-roll packages of that same TP on eBay for $19 each plus $7 shipping… and calling them 24 roll packages.

Buyer beware.

And speaking of THAT…. the Butler Brothers … above, at right…

NEVER should have believed that guy who sold them the “space saving” vertical car wash loader.

They already had more space than they need… especially between their ears.

On the subject of product shrinkage – if you’ve got old cookbooks that call for No. 2 cans or some such, they don’t make those anymore. Need to do a little sleuthing to find out what today’s equivalents are.

A “pound” of coffee is now, if you’re lucky 13 oz. The “two pound” can is 22 oz. Sheesh! they can’t even make it 24 oz so it’s twice the size of the one pound.

No wonder kids these days have problems with measurements.

Report on yesterday’s breakfast. Arlo does make the flakiest croissants this side of Paris. Far superior to any made by the ever-so-much-more expensive Zingermann’s. Yum!!!

GOOD MORNING BALLARDEERS! Q-DAY 23,266! BAT GUANO CRAZY HERE!

By the time they get done telling me the phone number, I’ve forgotten what the heck it is that they’re selling. I may have actually wanted it, but the one time they told me wasn’t quite enough. Others look really interesting but I’ve caught it about 5 seconds in so I have no idea what they’re selling to start with. I’m thinking of calling the number one of these times just to ask what it is….

Social Distance Definition (from Jillpoke Bohemia featuring Darby):

If I can turn around and punch you in the face, you’re too close.

Give yourselves a hug…

Today’s Bob’s Your Uncle snerk

http://www.comicssherpa.com/site/feature?uc_comic=csmxz

Nothing more need be said.

Cleo has the right idea.

My father had the fastest mute thumb of anyone ever.

He was good.

99.9% of the shows we watch are recorded on our DVR. When those awful commercials come on, we just fast forward them. When the 1800222222 number comes on, you know it’s time to slow it down and get ready to continue your show. Sorry, Claude.

And, for all you home bound folks, here’s one for you:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsezrzS27UY&feature=youtu.be

Like everyone else, I hate those. And if you didn’t get the number the first or fiftieth time, that commercial will be on again at the next commercial break…..never fear!

Am I the only one curious enough to google the number and find out it’s a pediatrics practice?

Reminds me of those classic New Yorker cartoons by George Booth about inept auto mechanics.

And yes, this comment actually pertains to this day’s Ballard Street.