Broom Hilda by Russell Myers for June 23, 2010

Aunts are like that, sometimes.

Ahhh, poor Nerwin….

He was hoping to be the National Enquirer’s lead reporter!

Hey, everybody has to be good at something.

Me, I’m good at being a bad example.

Don’t worry, Nerwin, sometimes the amateurs are the most influential.

Or maybe FOX news.

I guess Broomie doesn’t read the gossip rags in the supermarket check-out line, nor watch the TV schlock gossip-shows…. Be of stout heart, Nerwin; you may yet have a career ahead of you!

Llewellenbruce, just out of curiosity, out of all the political tattle tales – especially those of recent news – why bother bringing up one that’s what, twelve years old?

Personally, I believe I’m destined for layabout greatness.

Nerwin, you know tales of Broomie. You know what ZAP is?

Monica was said to be an isralie spy.

Like a Rolling Stone article?

Years later, Nerwin became a massively influential figure known only as Deep Hairball.

I heard that there is fourth hand eye-witness evidence of the alleged goat-fondling.

Hey Nerwin, just remember that your Aunt Broomie is a witch of many talents - for example, she’s a “cruel hope-dasher”. That being so, do you have to pay attention to what she says?

And what pray-tell is wrong with fondling goats??

Hey, if the goat don’t complain about it –

take one photo-nobody calls you a photographer change a spark plug-nobody calls you a mechanic cut down a tree you aren’t known as a lumberjack give a speech you’re not known as an orator

but ya fondle just one goat and they will call ya a goat fondler the rest of your life

Just because all your friends fondle goats does that mean you have to do it?

I categorically deny that I have ever fondled a goat, or knowingly associated with any goat-fondlers. My friends fondle fern fronds.

Anyone who says otherwise is a lousy tattle-tale (bringing us back on-topic).