PreTeena by Allison Barrows for October 29, 2015

I remember one time, changing my daughter after I picked her up from her sitter. The poop was a fascinating color…or should I say, colors! Soon after the sitter called me and informed me that my daughter had eaten multi-colored Goldfish crackers, so “her diaper should be interesting”.

I remember worrying that my son was jaundiced, even though he wasn’t at birth. Turned out his skin was turning yellow from all the carrots I had been feeding him.

That was probably meconium, a kind of proto-poop from a fetus’s pre-birth days.

Eat enough Beets and you can get red output both solid and liquid. Google “Beeturia”. I cooked and ate two large beets about a month ago and about 12 hours later I was sure I had some sort of bleeding UTI. Freaked me out.

It then occurred to me that if I had eaten beans with the beets I could have had a multimedia event.Solid, liquid, and gas.

And then there’s https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asparagus#Effects_on_urine .

“Delusions are often functional.

A mother’s opinions about her children’s beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera, ad nauseam, keep her from drowning them at birth.”.― Robert A. Heinlein