Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 27, 2015
Transcript:
Lonely Lindy was lonely. So she went on Facebook to find old high school classmates. And looked up the skinny debate geek and the pimply tuba player and the sweaty yearbook editor... And Brock Rockson. High School quarterback, blond-haired stud, and muscled adonis, Brock's profile photo was the logo of the Detroit lions. 'He must have gone on to be a pro quarterback,' Lindy thought, as she sent Brock a Facebook message. 'Hi, I"m Lindy,' she said, 'I went to high school with you. Would dyou ever want to get coffee?' And to her surprise, Brock said yes. And on the day of the meeting, LIndy made herself as beautiful as possible for her high school adonis. Who showed up an hour late. Brock: Sorry. Was gambling on the ponies. You Lindy? Lindy deleted her Facebook account and set fire to her computer. Rat: Don't look back. Someone might be changing on you.
BE THIS GUY about 9 years ago
Wasn’t there a computer nerd at Lindy’s school?He’s probably a tech millionaire now.
Sherlock Watson about 9 years ago
“Everything looks worse in black and white.” (Paul Simon, “Kodachrome”)
knight1192a about 9 years ago
I’m guess Pastis recently had some school reunion. Supposed to have one coming up myself. Trying to decide whether to go or not. Sincerely doubt anyone would miss me if I don’t show.
Rob Rex about 9 years ago
Moral of the story is not to go for looks. They always fail eventually.
hariseldon59 about 9 years ago
Sounds like Lindy’s still living in a high school fantasy world. Reality is such a bummer.
Teo128 about 9 years ago
Brock Rockson I guess its an Omage to Venture Bros’s Brock Samson, nice.
cdgar about 9 years ago
There used to be a dance called The Lindy Hop. Oops, I’m dating myself again. Poor Lindy, I had many crushes on girls at my high school. I think it’s best that I don’t ruin those sweet memories by seeking them out at this late date.
Sisyphos about 9 years ago
Lindy’s action may be a bit drastic, but at least she has learned her lesson. Change is inevitable!
jimmjonzz Premium Member about 9 years ago
The passage of time often changes folk for the better. I had more fun at the two nights of my high school reunion than I did in three years of high school. People who were insulated in their own clique cocoons were open and warm. I got a kiss on the cheek from the acknowledged Prettiest Girl in School. Found common interests with people that I’d thought had no interests. Discovered that I had been the object of a crush from a girl I’d never have had the nerve to approach in those days. The guy who had bullied me sought me out to apologize! I came to regard him as a long-distance friend. We exchanged several emails, planned a get together… but he died suddenly of an aggressive, previously undiagnosed cancer. I am still in wonder three years later at what a great time I had!
Arianne about 9 years ago
And the kicker… Brock would still see no irony in dismissing Lindy as “only a 5 or 6.”
Egrayjames about 9 years ago
Went to my 40th HS reunion 6 yrs ago…..saw a few friends, but was reminded why I really didn’t like HS…..too many obnoxious and arrogant wealthy kids from neighboring town. Regional HS can be that way…I was from the poor town.
nerdhoof about 9 years ago
For a second I thought that last panel might be a reference to Yogi Berra, but I think it was Satchel Paige who said “Don’t look back. Something may be gaining on you.”
whiteheron about 9 years ago
I used to let film go out of date and then use it just to see the uncontrolled results. I got some very interesting photographs.Sadly, or not, I never kept the negatives so when the prints aged poorly I just threw them out. I wish I could look at them again.However, if wishes and buts were candy and nuts, everyday would be Christmas.
KEA about 9 years ago
Nice Satchel Paige paraphrase.
MAGA Premium Member about 9 years ago
Probably the most profound he has ever been!
Guilty Bystander about 9 years ago
The Satch paraphrase and Sherlock’s comment made me think of the 1953 Bowman baseball card set, which consists of these lush all-color Kodachrome shots of players with no graphics on front…most beautiful set ever. You don’t even have to be a baseball fan to appreciate them.
I graduated in 1977 and have never attended a reunion. There were lots of good people in school but it wasn’t a great experience overall. Let the past bury its dead.
NWdryad about 9 years ago
She should have gone for the debate geek. He is probably filthy rich by now…
Phatts about 9 years ago
I never liked anybody in high school anyway
Sailor46 USN 65-95 about 9 years ago
If you want to be prepared for how much your High School Friends have changed. Just look in a Mirror, then at your High School Graduation Photo!
Number Three about 9 years ago
I’m a non-Facebooker and proud of it!
xxx
abbybookcase about 9 years ago
i recently performed kodachrome @ the open mike i go to. the theme was back to school. the opening lines “when i look back on all the crap i learned in high school, it’s a wonder i can think at all” are so perfect. also, it now goes into the special collection of songs with dated references. warren zevon singing about being strung out on heroin and being able to pawn his typewriter and buy drugs.etc.
BRI-NO-MITE!! Premium Member about 9 years ago
There was a long build-up.I expected a bad pun.
flsunlvr about 9 years ago
Oh yeah. Been there, done that!
vwdualnomand about 9 years ago
knew a guy like that. peaked in high school. got his gf pregnant. football scholarship ended after a season ending injury(screw ncaa). saw him the other day, managing a subway.
Ripplin about 9 years ago
Very much like that episode of All in the Family with Edith’s high school reunion and her old crush, football star Buck Evans, who also ballooned. :)
Lupin III about 9 years ago
Glory Days… They’ll pass you by…
(Bruce Springsteen)
Charles hill about 9 years ago
the last comment is a send-up of a Satchel Paige quote; honestly folks you are showing your age that is wasted on youth…go Satch
Clearstream about 8 years ago
THAT IS MY NAME! MY NAME IS LINDY! LINDY IS MEEEE! I NEVER SEE MY NAME ON ANYTHING, BUT THERE IT IS!!! WOOOHOOO! dances
TheJustinator almost 4 years ago
WHAT
cs2854900 almost 3 years ago
football jocks work jobs they hate
the nerds become millionaires