Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for September 05, 2015

Transcript:

richard's poor almanac by richard thompson tourist beware! targeting school groups & hapless midwesterners, a rogue cell of park rangers has been spreading misinformation. ignore them! don't eat anything they give you! oop: we can really try these gowns on? look at me! im mamie eisenhower! oop: sure. oop: see how the monument changes color partway up? that's from the great flood of '57. oop: so that's why they're painting it? tourist 1: gosh! planet holly ranger 1: cherry blossoms slathered with mayonnaise is a potent aphrodisiac. here - try some. ranger 2: 250 years ago cherry trees grew as far as the eye could see, from virginia to new jersey. then, president washington, still resentful from a childhood incident, had them all chopped down by executive order. tourist 2: whoa. tourist 3: this is where ted kennedy crashed with fanny farmer? ranger 3: yup. man: he said who ever brings back the beaver's head gets a dinner with president clnton! woman: ooh!