Pickles by Brian Crane for September 21, 2015

Oh boy! Someone needs to talk to Opal quickly and firmly!

Methinks she is sharing a sarcastic moment with Earl.

Opal—if you printed it that means you opened it. Better get your system scanned for an insidious worm.

She already has an insidious worm sitting next to her, lol

I felt left out in the 90’s ’cause nobody sent me the “I Love You” virus.

While passing through Heathrow last April, there was a beautiful Porsche Carrera on display and I was admiring all the details. The salesman approached and asked if he could assist me. I replied, “Will you take a check from my bank in Nigeria?”……he melted! “Oh, YES!” and almost started drooling because he thought he had a sale. It was just so funny I wish I could have kept up the ruse a little longer. He was so hooked….Silly man!

The Prince has a little problem getting his millions out of the Nigerian banks but Opal can help…..

I once got a email from the lawyer of a Nigerian Prince. He wanted me to pose as a relative of the Prince, whose entire family was wiped out. I would receive about 10% of the prince’s wealth, while the lawyer got everything else (still several million dollars.)

What killed the Nigerian Prince and his entire family?

Assassination.

Needless to say, I didn’t apply.

On a more serious note, my grandmother was hit with one of those “one of your grandchildren are in trouble” calls not that long ago.

Thankfully she hung up and then called both of her grandchildren directly to confirm before doing anything.

Only Pearl would get excited about spam… spam… spam.

Wanna buy tickets in my million dollar lottery? No scam. If you win I send you a dollar a year for a million years.

I bet he wants to deposit 2.3 million into Opals account.

Opal still has email from 20 years ago?

Yep, one of those Nigerian princes sitting in a cold-water flat in the Bronx with a computer-hacking system the envy of the NSA.

I check the subject line of all my spam emails just to make sure I don’t accidentally delete something I want. My husband and I get a lot of laughs out of some of the “come ons”. Some are so obvious!

I laugh at these because a friend of mine is a diplomat and was stationed at the embassy in Nigeria. Her friend came to visit a few times and I met him and you guessed it, he was a Nigerian prince. There are hundreds of them. So when someone mentions these I tell them I’ve met I Nigerian prince.

oh dear

I haven’t gotten one of those in a while.It could be because I Emailed them back and said..“GIVE….ME……MONEY…..NOW !”

Block the address. If you know how to.

xxx

You know, it would really be terrible if you were an actual Nigerian prince in exile who needed someone to help him get his money out of the country.

Keep getting e-mails that I have got to read before I delete them. The other day, it was from the head of the FBI. Yeah, right! They all tell me about the $23M dollars being held for me. And, of course, they want all kinds of personal information. Wonder how many have been fooled by this crap…

Yup Sir, that’ll liven up your day alright.