Lio by Mark Tatulli for June 29, 2010

You held up your dad for nothing….

Disappointing! I feel bad for our Lio who’s high hopes have been crushed.

If it’s any consolation, Lio, you can still go out and bite someone …

Why would you put a label like that on a cape??? How STUPID do they think we are?!? Next thing you know they’ll be putting notices on coffee cups telling people that coffee is HOT and………..Oh.

And not to iron clothes while wearing them…

Is that one of those “do not remove under penalty of law” tags?

Alas, poor Lio! When governmentally-required warning labels poop on your parade, use the power of imagination, for it overcomes all! Be the best vampire bat you can be! Do NOT be AFVRAID, little one!

If it doesn’t have that pesky Do Not Remove Under Law addendum then just snip it out Lio! Hurry!

How dare the real world intrude upon a little boy’s dream to be a vampire! Childhood is for dreaming….and, I’m willing to bet…Lio will dream up a new way to fly through the air like a vampire…perhaps with a little help from his monster friends. Where’s that one-eyed guy from Uranus when you need him????

That was fast shipping.

Well, shoot. That explains the markup on the Deluxe Vampire Cape…

Should read it before buying it.

That should have been made clear on the packaging, or if bought on-line in the product description. He could have saved himself some money…or bought one that did.

I know, Lio… I know… had the same problem with tying my blankie around my neck and jumping from a tree… found out that’s not how Superman flies.

I actually saw something like that tag on a Superman costume once, “Will not allow wearer to fly.”

Was yesterday’s robbery worth it Lio? What do they say about ill gotten gains…

Oh well, it still looks pretty cool. Go apologize to your dad…

Any man can stop a speeding bullet, just like Superman…once.

Don’t worry lio, you still look wicked awesome in that cape! It’s sure to get the ladies!

Well that’s what happens when you buy your vampire gear from Crazy Dave’s Cloak Warehouse.

I always get mine from Vlad’s. The custom tailoring costs a bit more, but it’s worth it for those nights when you just need to fly around in the moonlight and squeak.

Lio. Go online to www.vampirepower.bld and download the upgrade.

I wish someone had sewn a tag on Little Lew telling me how much trouble he could get me in.

@marg and on the blow dryer saying not to use while sleeping….

On the plus side, it didn’t make him all sparkly and emo, either.

Don’t worry, Lio; you don’t need a special cape to become a bat anyway. You still have your chemistry set, right?

I love Lio

Just rip it off! Ignore those tags! That’s what they are there for!

hilarious and sad.

Caveat emptor