Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for December 28, 2015

Transcript:

Richard's Poor Almanac Your Guide to Xmas Trees 2001 by Richard Thompson Censored Naughty Pine - Ooh la la! Hide the kids & don't tell grandma! This one is tres risque! Lurch - Highly unstable. Requires patience. Some U bolts & lots of piano wire. Black Hole Fir - Extremely dense foliage absorbs lights, baubles, garland, even tinsel! Whap Lobvolley Pine - Wicked serve & slashing backhand - oops! There goes another Radko! Platonic Fir - Too ideal. Renders all attempts at ornamentation superfluous. Covert Spruce - Requests for information denied on grounds of national security.