Barney & Clyde by Gene Weingarten; Dan Weingarten & David Clark for July 15, 2010

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    lewisbower  over 14 years ago

    DOC Who’s name is the patent for NUC COFFE in?

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    thad.humphries  over 14 years ago

    “To succeed with the ladies, a young man must have three things–money, good looks, and a sense of humor, IN THAT ORDER!” –Fractured Faerie Tales

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    fritzoid Premium Member over 14 years ago

    Old “Bizarro” cartoon. Old man and young woman at a table in a fancy restaurant, holding hands and gazing lovingly into each others’ eyes:

    Old man: “Would you love me if I weren’t rich?”

    Young woman: “Would you love me if I weren’t beautiful?”

    Diner at next table: “Would you excuse me if I threw up?”

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    fritzoid Premium Member over 14 years ago

    From Randy Newman’s “The World Isn’t Fair”:

    If Marx were living today He’d be rolling around in his grave And if I had him here in my mansion on the hill I’d tell him a story t’would give his old heart a chill It’s something that happened to me..

    I’d say, Karl I recently stumbled Into a new family With two little children in school Where all little children should be I went to the orientation All the young mommies were there Karl, you never have seen such a glorious sight As these beautiful women arrayed for the night Just like countesses, empresses, movie stars and queens And they’d come there with men much like me Froggish men, unpleasant to see Were you to kiss one, Karl Nary a prince would there be.

    Also, Randy Newman’s “Only a Girl”:

    She waits on tables Works in a bank Volunteers at the zoo You can tell she ain’t lazy But she is very young That’s why I called you

    Now that you’ve seen her, what do you think? Uh-huh Yeah

    Love is blind And deaf as well But I love this girl Can’t you tell? She’s only a girl And she loves me

    Why would someone Beautiful as she Love someone old like me Maybe it’s the money…

    Jeez, I never thought of that…

    God dammit …

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    Dirty Dragon  over 14 years ago

    It was nice of Clyde not to mention Barney’s baldness.

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    fritzoid Premium Member over 14 years ago

    Barney may be one of those characters, like Charlie Brown or Peter Otterloop (Sr.), who has hair enough, but it’s scalp-colored. Those few hairs we see might just be the unmanageable ones.

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    jpozenel  over 14 years ago

    She probably decided to marry him rather than some dirty, penniless, homeless bum.

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    ottod Premium Member over 14 years ago

    Women love men, not because the men have a sense of humor, but because the women do. At least that’s what my wife says.

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    Ushindi  over 14 years ago

    I just got back from the mountains - something is missing…

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    fritzoid Premium Member over 14 years ago

    Ushindi, that “something” filled a much-needed gap.

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