Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 28, 2016

Jim’s body will be discovered in a dumpster in Friday’s strip.

Is his last name Pastis?

Soon to be the star of his own series, Breaking Rotten.

Hey Goat, I’d like you to meet Jim,…

…because we won’t be seeing Jim around anymore after today…..At least not breathing…..Bye Jimmy.

What, is Pastis intending a future collection to be titled Breaking Pastis, the Sequel or Better Call Rat. Hope neither is the name of a treasury. Though if the pattern keeps up the next treasury will be titled Pearls _______________ with something in that blank. The last five treasuries have all started with Pearls, The Crass Menagerie was the last one not to have Pearls in the title of the book.

He’s considering buying another VW…

Sure would be nice to have a few weeks of the Crocs……….

He’s probably the guy who decided to come up with GMO’s too, JERK!

VW lied to the government to give us more power and greater gas mileage. They stuck it to the man!

His wife told her sister that he was a dud in bed, and the bikers left town.

I think those are “death choices”, rather than life choices.

I think rat is a glass half empty kinda,,, guy??

“Brian got busted on a narco rapHe beat the rap by rattin’ on some bikersHe said, hey, I know it’s dangerous,but it sure beats Riker’sBut the next day he got offedby the very same bikersThose are people who died, died!Those are people who died, died!(repeat over and over until it’s stuck in your head)”

“People Who Died,” The Jim Carroll Band

He’d better call Saul.

VW stuck it to anyone who breathes. That would not be the government. The people I hear, who are unable to sell their now worthless diesels, are not happy. And it doesn’t help the ones with gas engines, either.

Does a red cardigan equal a red shirt?

… for a moment there, I thought I had accidentally clicked on a link to the TVGuide website.

You mean this isn’t an episode of _____________ ?(finish this sentence …)

Suggestions can include:A. CNN Breaking NewsB. Jerry SpringerC. Dr. PhilD. Any show with the word “housewife” in it.E. All of the Above

Wow. What an angel he is!

xxx

Jim is the new Bob!I like Rat’s honesty with us, speaking as he often does as Cartoon-Boy’s alter ego.

I know people like that. Take my husband. Please.

Next, on Jerry Springer.

Rat is going to have to find a new dentist again.

I thought they weren’t allowed to say that.

He’ll also have a series on Netflix