Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 06, 2016

You’re not as clever as you think.

That’s a lot of ignorance in such a small body.

Like IKEA (I care-uh).

He has no idea how to put tab A into slot A. That’s why Farina broke up with him.

How long has Goat known Rat? And he’s calling to ask him for a favor?

Tom Sawyer and the fence painting comes to mind.

Hey Rat, if you don’t know how to assemble furniture, how did you move the couch you and Pig are sitting on right now?

It just may be that Paris is feigning ignorance.

Rat’s too busy knocking down those brews to help with furniture.

You’ll notice that he didn’t ask Pig to help him. I guess Goat knows the difference between feigning ignorance and the real thing.

Drunken help doing anything is no help at all. Goat is better off on his own.

When I retired, I gave away all of my tools for auto repair, carpentry, and electrical work, except for basic home fix-it, i.e., a good framing hammer, a few screw drivers, an adjustable wrench, and a few kinds of pliers.

People want you to use your tools if you are known to own tools.

They also want to borrow them, and frequently break them or lose them.

Note that Goat didn’t include Pig in the invitation. Pig doesn’t have to feign no ignorance of nothin’.

So it should be!

xxx

Could be furniture that you need three different translators to for, one to translate the instructions, one to translate that first one, and one to translate the second one. And after an hour of translating step one you throw out the furniture and go buy already assembled furniture that will probably start falling apart by the end of the week.

Wuh-oh

We’ve pretty much known all along, Rat. Cartoon-Boy has made sure of that, laying bare your miserable excuse for a soul….

What do you get when you say you can do anything? People not leaving you alone.