Bloom County by Berkeley Breathed for July 28, 2023

No wonder she is marrying Opus. What a nightmare family to escape. Why she invited them I don’t understand.

The world is better off with those charlatans dead and buried.

I’m mostly skipping past this arc, but a shout out to Tammy Faye Bakker has to be acknowledged. She was a wonderful person and people who were in Charlotte back-in-the-day like to remember seeing her out shopping or having lunch.

Don’t forget the 10 lbs of mascara for each eye.

If you don’t want to wear makeup then pinch your cheeks!

If you’re going to look like Tammy you’ll need more than a “kit”. More like a truckload.

Just because you look like you were hit with a brick without makeup, doesn’t mean your daughter does.

They scraped the makeup off Tammy Faye Bakker and discovered that’s where Jimmy Hoffa had been hiding for decades.

Omigosh! She isn’t gonna cry, is she? Save yourselves! It’s a Mascara Tidal Wave!

Tammy Faye bought her makeup in 55 gal drums and put it on with a trowel.

Make up finishes what the tattoos start

Tammy Faye, dear heart, didn’t just paint her face, she drywalled it.

You brought the wheeled vats of makeup.

Don’t forget the applicator née trowel.

Tammy Faye did wear a lot of makeup, but she would cry when she sang, so it would run. That was not a good look.

The Bakers were the only TV preachers who supported the gay community during the AIDS epidemic while all the others (including reagan) were celebrating AIDS as god’s just punishment.

Makeup is a lie, and therefore sinful.

Look before you leap. If you really want to know what that sweet girl you’re about to marry with be like in a few years, check out her mother and beware. You might “get lucky,” you might not…

My niece in college went to visit one of her friends at hers—Liberty University of all places. Niece sat in on friend’s last few classes as the other girl’s semester ended. Niece got called on the carpet publicly by at least one professor for not wearing makeup as the school guidelines required for female students (the prof never noticed that she’d never been in his classes before. Uh…)

Lola Granola, soon to be Mrs. Penguin Opus (egad, I hate saying that!), is archetypically hippie. Hence, “the Natural Look” (i.e., no makeup). Her clueless mother is of an older, clueless, generation. Lola is lucky to get away from a non-understanding home, although the fact that it is “non-understanding” is both unfortunate and unnecessary. Fault: mommy and daddy….