Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for May 31, 2016

No, no, don’t you dare harm my boy Tru!!

I wonder whether this “client” is on the level about needing to place jumbo orders, or whether he’s just aiming to have Del buy him a lot of drinks. Of course, it won’t really matter, since an hour from now Mr. Slurring-my-words will be wrapped around a tree, and the order (if it ever existed) will go away.

Three-car collision? “Where, oh, where can my baby beeeeeeeeeeeeee?” Have we ever had a death in this strip? Horrible, crippling maiming? Will this be a first?

There was that crash about a dozen years ago involving about half the baseball team that slammed the door on a repeat as state champs, but that’s the worst I can remember.

It looks like a giant bird flew over the lot in P1 and deposited a big dump on each windshield. Talk about your angry birds.

Stuff, eh? Is Del a drug dealer too? That cow judge can’t wait to get her hooves on him.

Tru(e)’s group sex party seems to be winding down. Now in Milford tradition, off to the Bucket. Could this be the end of Tru(e)?

Hate to pass on bad news Mop Man, but in yesterday’s MUT Ed Asner is missing an “it” in his 2nd sentence. And no, not Cousin It.

Have said it before – why are fathers in this strip always such buffoons? Does no HS athlete have a well-adjusted hardworking dad?!

Maybe the guy wises up, uber, taxi, something, but that would be too easy.

This is going to make a fascinating word problem. Del is drunk and leaves the restaurant at 6:30. Boo is a psycho and leaves the diner at 7. True leaves the study group to drive to Hawaii at 6:45. If Del is traveling at 35 mph, and Boo is traveling at 60 mph, and True is traveling at 25 mph, how long ago did we all lose interest in this plot?

Can’t help but like this kid. State Champ QB, fireballer closer, leader in and out of the classroom. Through the static of AM radio, Dead Man’s Curve is playing on WMFD.

“The last thing I remember doc …”

Are those discarded empty beer cans in P2?

P1…the Bucket is next door to Midnight Auto Used Cars; those are price tags on windows

So it evidently was a night game when Boo threw the no-hiiter. Which is fine, except that there were no lights and the sky looked like daytime.

So, which kid either dies or is maimed so their dreams are crushed. I’m guessing it will be True…more pathos that way.

I’m thinking it’s gonna be Boo … but then again, I’m pretty consistently wrong on my predictions.

Is that Cathy (of comic page fame) in P3 with the heart applique?

Also, what sort of group project does one do for A.P. English? (Kudos to R&W for foreshadowing True’s super-literacy…after all, he was familiar with THAT BOOK that’s name I dare not speak.)

So will the impending highway mayhem paralyze Tru(e) Never-able-to-Standish-again, or will it make Boo Radley the tragic heroine of “To Kill a Mudlark”? Or will Del simply be pulled over for DUI again, giving the cow judge an opportunity to show her son that he’s not the only one in the family who can make things happen?

P1 – Mr Reality sees this panel, runs away screaming.P2 – Wait a minute, Del buys his dinner and many, many drinks because he SAYS he’s going to place a big order? You don’t celebrate before it happens! It might not happen. And if Ed Asner doesn’t get a DUI it will be a miracle. He can’t even stand straight!P3 – Ooh, blondie wants to master something else in AP English, and it’s spelled T-r-u-(-e-).And speaking of master, I think I’ve mastered (but not bated) today’s Mopped Up Thorp.

Wow, a lot of excellent comments today, I want to respond to several but don’t want to flood this with too many Mops in a row.Boy, this impending crash could go either way. Del hits Tru(e)? Del hits Boo? I’m rooting for a massive 3-car collision involving all of them. That would be awesome. My prediction is Del will ALMOST hit one of our heroes, and maybe end up in a ditch. No massive traumatic crash, gotta keep it from being too heavy. I’ll go with Boo, as someone pointed out the other day she could be headed to Central City now to meet her dad. She almost gets hit, Del crashes, she calls Tru(e) for help. How’s that for a detailed prediction?And since I’m almost always wrong, that means there will be a collision with one of them, yay!

Today he looks more like Terry Bradshaw than Lou Grant.

Today’s award goes to Seismic 2. A word of warning to all parents: A P English kills. Don’t let your child be next.

P-1: for all of you with inappropriate humor – now we know who’s pitching and who’s catchingP-2: Tribute to Seinfeld: StuffP-3: I’ve almost got A P English mastered. Come over to my parse. I want to try conjugating, not declining. I think you’d be pluperfect.