Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for August 16, 2018
August 15, 2018
August 17, 2018
Transcript:
richard's poor almanack fireworks to avoid by richard thompson endless snake burns for up to 24 hours, leaving a miles-long mass of carbon and ineradicably staining your driveway, sidewalk or patio! kid: i'm so bored. kim jong il-lumination highly unstable and difficult to control. may go off if you so much as look at it cross-eyed. toppling destructo tower of doom tips over upon ignition, scorch-ing your yard (or your neighbor's) right down to the roots. always a big hit on america's funniest videos. x-treme timidity assortment recommended for those who dislike anything loud, bright or sudden. duds, damp squibs, msifires, fizzles, shushing librari-ans, sighing babies and throatclearers. shus libra
John Wiley Premium Member over 6 years ago
Coincidentally, I just finished reading Jean Shepherd’s “In God We Trust: All Others Pay Cash” upon which the movie “A Christmas Story” is based. The fireworks chapters had me crying with laughter. My wife even thought that I might be having a seizure.
PoodleGroomer over 6 years ago
The Toppling Destructo Tower of Doom made the city change the HOA code of mandatory cedar shake roofs to cedar shakes prohibited after the resulting fire storm. The houses not in HOA compliance didn’t burn to the ground.
Sisyphos over 6 years ago
Scented candles add a nice touch to the Timidity Assortment, which appeals to me….