Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for January 21, 2019

Transcript:

richard's poor almanac handy candy-giving guide 2000 by richard thompson kid: i'm pokemon! trick treat same as last year! is that the best he can do? kid: i'm a sucker for merchandising ploys. that's better. give him two circus peanuts, like last year. kid: i'm a harry potter knock off. jerry kotter give him some candy corn made with genetically engineered corn. kid: i'm that quiet guy down the street who turns out to be a serial killer! that's so cute! give him 3 fun-size snickers! call your spouse in! kid: i'm a ghost! combines lack of imagination with a hazardous costume. kid: i'm an at-risk child of divorce poor child-care & slack school standards whose self-destructive impulses lead me to dangerous costume choices. that's better. give her some ritalin. kid: i'm an apathetic voter! i can't even be bothered to come all the way to your door! throw hard candy at him. al gore: i'm al gore. bush: i'm george w. bush. trick or team trick or team wham tell them you don't give candy to strangers.