Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for September 21, 2016

The stands are pretty well empty, what’s wrong with those Oakwood people?

Who is that yelling in panel 2? Come on Marty, you have been announcing long enough to know that football has QUARTERS not PERIODS but after all, it is only the first game and baseball season just ended. Plenty of time to get the kinks out.

I remember a time when just announcing that having State Champion Gil Thorp in the house would have packed those stands to overflow capacity.

In all reality , P 3 Marty has his faithful to go cup close at hand filled with his favorite beverage , that’s a trading that won’t be forgotten . P 2 , Heather finds that coaching football lights her fire , will it soon be Coach Bush and can she transform Pelwickie in time to save the season ? Stay tuned Thorptopians.

So is Milford’s kicker so good that he’s made two field goals or so bad that he’s missed an extra point, or neither and the defense has three safeties?

Hakeem severely burns his throwing arm on the hot lights causing him to throw the ball backwards in P1. Could he be done for the season?

Heather, taking a cue from Holly Dobbs takes over coaching the team as once again Gil and Kaz are AWOL. With her giant man hands I bet she could throw a mean spiral.

Marty, so sloshed he can barely hold his head up, is mixing up his sports in P3. He must have read all of that hockey talk in yesterday’s comments and drunkenly mixed things up.

There is more clarity to the aliens that have come to watching Milford games. These appear to be from the planet LEGOnus.

Marty Moon here Mudlark fans. Live from the Oakwood tinderbox with my sippy cup and color provided by that Hall of Famer, Johnnie Walker, hic, hic. We have a raucous crowd of about a dozen fans welcoming another great season of Valley Conference football.

Good thing Hakeem has someone to tell him how to throw

Just to keep Tru(e) in the story, he may return to Milford to ensure that what is happening in Dallas won’t happen in Milford. http://www.texasmonthly.com/the-daily-post/dallas-regulating-little-free-libraries-reason/

Oh no, so Heather is some amazing expert in technique? Is she Holly and Gil’s long lost love child? So that’s the big twist for this season, she has a passion for coaching a sport she never plays? Although, I suppose this could end up like Holly’s instinct for coaching, never again referenced after it was brought up. And speaking of bringing up, you can bring up today’s Mopped Up Thorp with one simple click.

P-1: Forgetting what game he’s playing, Hakeem attempts a lay up only to have his finger roll go tragically wrong. Too bad, that could have been two points.P-2: Call for Phillip MoreeeseP-3: Marty puts his time between plays to good use counting plumber’s cracks in the stands

Alt. P-2: Elbow above the shoulder, just like foreplay, remember?

So Heather will become the latest one in the string of Gil’s amateur coaches that he recruits so that he won’t actually have to do anything. And she didn’t even have to lose an arm first!

What does “elbow above the shoulder” mean? If you Google “NFL quarterbacks throwing” and click on images, maybe one in 10 has his elbow above his shoulder. Among those who don’t are such bums as Aaron Rodgers, Peyton Manning, Drew Brees and Tom Brady.

Two Abro field goals.

@chiphilton: Heather’s parents enrolled her in some obscure form of yoga and she learned Elbow above the shoulder practicing Tantric Yoga. Something about awakening the inner cobra. You should see some of the positions she has mastered.