Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 22, 2016

Can I drop Rat in a vat of molten steel?

Our neighbor’s cat is killing terminators all day long. Not that spectacular, but don’t tell him.

Tell you what, Rat — if we ever see a Terminator coming, we’ll throw you in its path.

Look on his works, ye mighty, and despair!

More like killing the Terminator… so, long, slow, and incredibly painful?

Sorry to tell you this, Rat, but you have ten quintillion miles to go before you reach the outer edge of mediocrity. And three times as far before you reach the outer edge of greatness.

“I don’t want immortality through my work. I want it by not dying.”

—Woody Allen

How easy – or hard – you are to eliminate is at least partially up to you.

Nice try Rat but you are not there……………..

Immortality is to die for…

Hold on now. I thought Rat was a mutant survivor of the Pre-Pearls Nuclear Holocaust.

I’ll tell you how important I am. When I die, the universe will cease to exist, in fact will not have ever existed. It’s true, and you cannot prove otherwise. The fact that other people die and I and the universe continue merely shows how less important they are. If you think you’re just as important as I, you just go a head and die, and we’ll just see.

I have a feeling that killing Rat will be like killing the Terminator.

I’m going to live forever, or die trying.

A national day of mourning with great ceremony; virgins sacrificed; a pyramid built……

No more pre-history?

Maybe Pastis can put out a contract on Rat.

You and me both, Rat.

Immortality is available through the Lord Jesus Christ!

“Immortality” is available through your progeny.

Ah, but the memory lingers on….

(Which is, in Rat’s case, kinda too bad.)

i like this

I’ll make it be harder