Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for December 21, 2016

Now that you’re up,could you get me a fresh beer.

But I was enjoying the peace and quiet.

Football season.

Teacher says that everytime a bell rings, a cicada gets its wings.

He’s just a shell of himself.

Don’t bug me.

This reminds me of a situation that happened with my wife. My wife likes to talk. She agrees that if she shuts up for 15 minutes, we can have her declared dead.

.

One day I am in the car with her as she’s driving. She is chattering away as usual. I decided to do an experiment. I sat still in my seat, hands on my knees, looking straight forward and remained silent and as motionless as I could. After 20 minutes of non-stop talk from my wife, I couldn’t take it anymore. I told her I could have fallen out of the car 20 miles back and she wouldn’t have noticed.

.

I correct her when she says that I never listen to anything that she says. I plead that I do listen to most of what she says, but it humanly impossible to listen to all that she says.

actually, i thought you just got a little less annoying.

She’s having separation anxiety.

Clever as well as funny.