Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for September 18, 2017

You had me at “rat biofluids."

The buttered cat paradox is a paradox based on the tongue-in-cheek combination of two adages:

—Cats always land on their feet.—Buttered toast always lands buttered side down.

Some people jokingly maintain that the experiment will produce an anti-gravity effect. They propose that as the cat falls towards the ground, it will slow down and start to rotate, eventually reaching a steady state of hovering a short distance from the ground while rotating at high speed as both the buttered side of the toast and the cat’s feet attempt to land on the ground.

“Would it still work if you used margarine?”, “Would it still work if you used I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter?”, and “What if the toast was covered in something that was not butter, but the cat thought it was butter?”, the idea being that it would act like a placebo.

In reality, cats do possess the ability to turn themselves right side up in mid-air if they should fall upside-down, known as the cat righting reflex.

I dunno, if you butter the cat’s feet, will it try to lick its feet clean before righting itself? I mean, cats are very picky about stuff on their feet.

There is, after all, the possibility that the cat, having righted itself first, lands on buttery paws, which slide every which way, leaving the cat to whack its chin.

Or not….

Why are cats and buttered toast known to be so college smart?

.

They turn in 180 degrees without any interferences.

The idea of a cat always landing on her feet is firmly embedded in feline lore. It’s as if cats possess invisible landing gear, and no matter their size, they can turn a tumble into a right-side up touchdown. Tabbies overshooting windowsills in quest of passing birds, or miscalculating fences as they run from barking dogs, appear to regain perfect balance without effort.

Falling cats do sometimes suffer injuries, and not all cats survive falls, particularly older, less agile ones.

Most of the time, a cat will land on her feet when she falls. Her body reflexively corrects its course so that by the time she arrives on the ground, her feet are in position to hit first. The height of a cat’s fall determines how well, or how poorly, her legs can absorb the shock of landing.

Veterinarians treating the broken legs and other injuries of cats that survive falls from high-rise apartments noticed that the cats who fell from greater heights, such as more than five stories, often suffered fewer severe injuries than those falling from just a few floors because the longer drop gave the cats’ bodies more time to right themselves.

I may be philtrum-challenged but I am NOT philtrumLESS, Missy-Miss Tee.

Please stop staring at the hood ornament.

You will sunburn your eyeballs.

Or at least put on these gray flannel shades.

A pair of Polaroid Lens Sun Glasses will make it last longer.

Mᴀɢɪᴄ Gʀᴀᴠɪᴛʏ Bᴜᴛᴛᴇʀ would be a good name for a band.

P.S. On a cartoon excellence scale of zero to J.C. Duffy, today’s F.A. rates 4 Sporks!

Clitoral hood ornaments installed while you wait.

From The Department Of:

A Classic is a Classic is a Classic

Pʜɪʟᴛʀᴜᴍ received honorable mention in the F.A. 10th anniversary countdown:

http://www.gocomics.com/frogapplause/2016/12/12

A thimble for a kiss, and you can stay a boy and never never grow up.

Did anyone else read today’s offering to the tune of “Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds”?

Characteristic facial features in a child with fetal alcohol spectrum disorders may include a smooth philtrum, thin upper lip, upturned nose, flat nasal bridge and midface, epicanthal folds, small palpebral fissures, and small head circumference.

Funny how no one seems to brag about the depth and/or breadth of their philtrum. Perhaps those with shortcomings in the philtrum department grown mustaches to cover up their inadequacy.

What… no comments about misperceived sewing notions?

A lot going on under the hood there…

Description:St Teresa’s Grammar SchoolDate:1962Held by:The National Archives, Kew

And when I die, I want my ashes mixed with epoxy and set with permanent magnets, and then placed in a wound armature to form a turbine that will power the grid. I know the sort of things that will be happening when I’m gone, and as long as I’m spinning in my grave and staring at the Sun, I may as well be doing the world some good. It is nearly guaranteed to be as effective as utilizing the Buttered Cat Paradox.

Go overboard on International Talks Like A Pirate Day. 9/19/2017

Our Lady of the Frogs has poeted all over us! Do not mix the metaphors. Rather, eat your Buttered Blood Orange Zest-flavored popcorn and enjoy the Twins….

Suzie Plakson’s multiple Star Trek roles have left their imprint on her personality/personalities.

A taste for Blood Orange Wine is just the tip of the iceberg.

Nicely tailored suits. Much classier than many of today’s fashions.

Not so close, the citric acid will stain..