Close to Home by John McPherson for November 16, 2017

Slim chance of that working.

Tape worms don’t work either.

No better than that other doctor where she came in asked if they knew how to remove 200 pounds of ugly fat, and they threw her out.

I’d rather have the fat-eating virus.

No virus eats flesh, nor fat. They are classified as necrotizing bacteria which means the body economy of the bacteria produces a toxin that kills tissues, not eat them. The brown recluse also produces a venom that has necrotizing properties. If not caught in time they can debride you to the bone and you die from sepsis or septic shock.

There is the tape worm therapy that keeps you slim as you gorge. There is a certain amount of risk of course. But then life would be boring without it.

I know a lady that twice went on the ‘divorce diet’. In both cases she lost around 240 pounds of ugly husband!

Bet somebody’s thought of that for real.

Wish I could afford that diet.

I had a couple of Pharmacist friends; back in the ’70s who were discussing marketing a nausea inducing drug over the counter and calling it “Puke-Thin”