Daddy's Home by Tony Rubino and Gary Markstein for December 14, 2017

if Washington is on the fiver, Spork, then is it Bill Gates on the $100 bill?

Tony asked, about 3 hours ago

Favorite Colonial Guy?

Right now? Coffee.

Sounds like Spork has the qualifications to be Mnuchin’s deputy.

Tony…. If you mean our colonial forefathers….

( “our” meaning United-States-of-Americans, “colonial” meaning from the days of English settlement and rule….

and “forefathers” meant to encompass not only all our foremothers, who are always ignored….

but also, all of us descended from many other countries and ethnicities)

…I have to say Thomas Jefferson.

Best of his kind.

So where do they stick him….

On the nickel, which is so heavy for its tiny value that people spend them as soon as they can…

and the $2 bill…. which many people are so superstitious about that they won’t even carry them.

Sorry, Tom.

I’d put you on the $100 bill, if I could….. but then Ben and his buddies would complain.

How about the fifty?

Do we really need Grant on a bill?

Come on.

Spork!!! Your such a Dork!!!

I take it you don’t mean colonial warriors.

Another Spork fail. Let’s trade him in for the more intelligent Pelican.

Well, that’s progress. At least he’s thinking about a job. He just needs to set bar a bit lower.