Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for December 25, 2017

“…Let your heart be edible…”

Thank you beary much, Wiley.

Thank you beary much, Wiley.

Thank you beary much, Wiley.

All he wants for next Christmas is inside plumbing.

Beware bears singing Christmas carols. Thank God we haven’t any of them in Australia.

Wiley bears two days in a row! How great is that?

BTW, Thanks Wiley for the coloring page. A Berry berry Christmas to you, too.

I was on Drummond Island and checked into one of half dozen cabins that were in a semicircle facing the Lake. Right out of the 1950s…..A two burner stove, pots and pans and plates…A little sink. An electric heater in the wall….It was great! There were two outhouses nearby…I went out to my car for something and I heard a series of crunching sounds. I looked over towards the water, and I see this black bear gnawing on the gunwale of a wooden boat. I watched it in fascination for a while. Then it started sauntering towards my cabin, I kept my hand on the door handle, but it trotted off between the two out houses in the gathering darkness…. I did not go anywhere near the outhouse that night…..I did warm up some beans and ham on the little stove, and they had a toaster….And I had liquid refreshments…..

Don’t you just love it when bears sing, “It came upon a Christmas Eve…” on your way to the outhouse….Don’t forget something to set your cheeks on….Folded newspaper sections, cardboard, carpet remnants…anything to avoid the chill of fresh ham on the seat…..

Bears, omnivores with a distinct turn for venison and occasionally a wayward human.

I hope bears sing better than the coyotes we’ve got around these parts.

Somehow, I don’t think THESE Wiley Bears mean him any harm…

Smart bears would wait until the return trip.

Smart bears would wait until the return trip.

Yay! Self-coloring bears! Is this an app for that?

I grew up with an outhouse.

I think that i would be looking for buckets.

Hoppy, hoppy, hoppy Holidays!

Today’s strip is close to the truth. My neighbour is a military pilot, and he tells me the polar bears in Churchill Manitoba know that when a runway light bulb expires, someone will come to replace it; and when they lie in wait in the snow, they cover their black noses with their paw. So in answer to your question, it takes two soldiers to replace a light bulb – one with a new bulb, and one with a 12 gauge and 5 slugs.

Do humans [bleep] in the outhouse? Not today.

How badly do I R E A L L Y need to go outside?

Hope he doesn’t have the runs ;~(

Merry Christmas , Happy New year and whatever else fits, to you all.

“Alley Oop,” for those who haven’t seen it today, features a very nice poem.

I suppose bears don’t have any tenors, altos and sopranos, but only bearitones?

The bears are just waiting until he has to go to the outhouse. The missus is Jewish and Chanukah ended last week but Merry Christmas to all of you who celebrate it.

The “quarter moon” was only one the ladies outhouses. The men’s used a “full moon” (no pun intended), but were often destroyed by rowdy occupants.

♪♫ “Digest ye merry gentleman…” ♪♫

I’d be especially afraid of the one on the roof.

Living in a framed tent for several summers in Yosemite, one day black bear came in while wife was still in bed, she got up, whacked him with a broom, AFTER OPENING THE DOOR, and off he went. In Yellowstone, grizzly pursued me into the lodge, through the door I’d gone in. He grew bored with the lobby and exited through the front glass doors, well, after he knocked them out of the frame and to pieces. Pick your bears carefully.

Stop. I can’t bear it.

Jingle bears, Jingle bears…

Jingle bears, Jingle bears…

I want a stuffed Wiley Bear toy!

How nice of the bears to clear all the snow from the path to the outhouse. “Ooh, look, I don’t have to tramp through the snow!”

“A WILEY BEAR TAIL OF WOE”

Jingle bears, Jingle bears…Santa runs all the way

The bears bearing grins are at a gallop

Santa’s running too hard to say halp!

Ursus Superiorous Wiley are a hungry lot

Since they appeared they are sending humans to pot

For a long time humans have needed a predator of them

IN the stories, movies and other fiction placed them in ’em

The bears who smile too much come along, sneaky fellows

All I gotta do is make to the pooping place, oh!

Can’t do it anywhere the Wiley Bears are, cheeky beasts

Maybe I should eat less of those Christmas feasts!

With thanx to Wiley & Edward Thomas for the ideas.

Book title: “Long Run to the Outhouse” by Willie Makit.

No wonder he looks anxious, look at that line for the outhouse. Guess he’ll just have to use the woods.

They’re singing your song Gent!

If the bears were really smart, they’d hide until he went to the outhouse, and grab him on the way back. He’d taste better that way. And now that he’s seen them waiting, he probably doesn’t need to go to the outhouse…

Iʻd check the basement for a reusable 5 gallon bucket!!

Those ubiquitous Wiley Bears!

Giving the snow, I’d say this is in North Dakota. ;)

BTW, this is exactly why I have a camper with a toilet. :D

An asides, bears are only as dangerous as stupid people will let them be. OK, that’s true of most animals.

Giving the snow, I’d say this is in North Dakota. ;)

BTW, this is exactly why I have a camper with a toilet. :D

An asides, bears are only as dangerous as stupid people will let them be. OK, that’s true of most animals.

Thank you beary much!