Close to Home by John McPherson for December 25, 2017

This could hurt your elf esteem.

How elf can they find out if you stack up to the requirements of the job.

He’s an angry elf.

If he gets the job then he’ll be elf-employed!

Why weren’t you at elf practice?!

For those not familiar w/ Elf enjoy (I hope) https://www.npr.org/2005/12/23/5066175/sedaris-and-crumpet-the-elf-a-holiday-tradition

Not an equal opportunity employer? You’ll be hearing from my lawyer.

Payback! Remember how you laughed when I wasn’t tall enough for the amusement park rides? Ahahahahahaha

Everyone wanted to be on the short list for the Elf auditions.

Merry Christmas , Happy New year and whatever else fits, to you all.

If this was in Germany, You have to be 11 to qualify.

Elves weren’t always short. If you know Tolkien, he was unhappy at what have been done to the elves turning them into jolly short people so he brought them back to their former glory. Everything about them is better than humans. Plus pointed ears.

Looks like he got the short end of the stick. Unemployment is at an all time low.