FoxTrot Classics by Bill Amend for June 25, 2018

something tells me Jason’s eyeglasses repairs are coming out of Paige’s allowance

“We’b gum to billage and blunder… ad fid subwud who’ll helb by dosebleed!”

This sailor met a pirate in a bar, and the sailor couldn’t help but notice that the pirate was pretty badly the worse for wear. He had a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch.

So, the sailor asked the pirate how he got the peg leg, and the pirate answered, “Well mate, I got washed up overboard one night while we were in a fierce storm. and dern me if a shark didn’t go and bite off me leg.”

Then the sailor asked, “So, how’d you get the hook?” and the pirate answered, “Well, we was in a fierce fight while boarding a ship one time, and that’s when I got me hand cut off.”

Finally, the sailor asked, “So, how’d you get the eye patch?” and the pirate responded, “A seagull pooped in me eye.”

“You mean to tell me you lost an eye just because a seagull pooped in it?”

“Well, it was the first day with me hook…”

Ouch! But no foul-that was a clean hit/

Wow, this is an old arc!

“Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.”