Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 19, 2018

Then he won’t be having dinner with Trump.

I’m not sure why it’s so fascinating. Fascinating would be more figuring out three historical figures you’d like to have dinner with who would actually agree to be seen with you.

Someone who does not eat like it’s the end of the world, because you could be paying…

If I were Pig thinking of three historical someones who pays, they’d be 1) Alfred Nobel, 2) Queen Victoria of Britain, 3) … I don’t know… Bill Gates?

Somebody who has lots of gold jewelry and Bonnie and Clyde.

Pig is fascinating.

Because it means you won’t be eating with Rat.

Another one of those types of exercises is name an historical event, where if possible, you could witness.

OK – at least it’s not a pun…

Does Marilyn Monroe count as a historical figure?

I started to write out my list and realized it did not enhance my attempts to appear sane.

It would have to be recent history. Having a corpse sitting across from you would feel awkward. Although if they’d been cremated, then I suppose having the urn there wouldn’t be so bad.

I’ve always wondered, Why is goat’s nose lime green?

“I’ll pay for lunch if you pay next time.” The next lunch will be chewing gum.

Goat’s page was blank.

Maybe he could share Meatloaf with Hannibal Lecter.

Dahmer, Lecter, Vlad the Impaler. Oh, wait, I thought he said “wouldn’t”.

That sounds more like something Rat would write.

Eleanor Roosevelt, Edith Wilson, Dolly Madison

Pig has a one-track mind. Penurious Pig!

I don’t think I could whittle my list down to just three….

1. Jesus2. Sacajawea 3. George Washington Just for starters. Any other suggestions out there?