Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for July 26, 2018

She’s on to something.

I once got a traffic ticket there. The sign said “No U-Turn”. I wanted to turn left, but the entrance to the parking lot didn’t line up correctly, so I ended up making a U-turn.

If only he had gotten glasses sooner.

Or perhaps he`s illiterate – or dyslexic

Just proving her point.

this is one time you might want to admit your wife is right. it’s a dangerous precedent but even a broken watch shows the right time twice a day.

“Is this a normal part of the eye exam? I’m having trouble getting my feet into these stirrup thingies. And why did I need to undress from the waist down, anyway?”

… or a dictionary

In the army the guy said, “step up to the line.” If you stepped to the line you had not only passed your eye test because you saw the line, you had also passed you hearing test because you heard him say it. Absolutely true story.

He needs an Obstinate-trican.

There follows a pregnant pause…

I used to manage a Tape World store in a mall across from the Eye World store and this would happen to us after they dilated someone’s eyes and let them walk around in the mall.

In his defense, he can see just fine, he just can’t spell/read very well.

Of course, opticians make corrective lenses. First you need to see an optometrist or ophthalmologist for an eye exam. That doctor will prescribe the glasses you need.