Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for August 04, 2018

That depends on whether or not the car in front of you drifts forward or comes to a complete stop. Drifting is better for the car, but sometimes I want to come to a complete stop so I can do something.

Well, you gotta pick it sometime!

So I guess yellow means “proceed with caution before nose-picking.”

Around here, red seems to mean “stop and pull out your phone, and completely miss when the light turns green again.”

Thanks for clearing that up for me!

If you don’t do that, the light wont change.

Wait… you mean people can see you when you’re in your car?

Capuchin monkeys say hello by sticking a finger up your nose.

And yellow means “speed up”

I’ve been driving in North Carolina for more than 20 years and I still do not know how long the light has to be red before you have to stop for it. As best I can tell, if the car in front of you goes through the light, you can go through too.

That’s only a liberal democrat.

Jenny Hayden: Oh, for your information pal, that was a yellow light back there! Starman: I watched you very carefully. Red light stop, green light go, yellow light go very fast.

So, they caught me…

Jerry Seinfeld: “It was a scratch, not a pick!”

Of the things I’ve seen people do when driving, picking their nose is one of the least offensive. Yes folks, we can see in your vehicle as you pass us on the sidewalk or when our vehicles are next to yours. And fellow, my mother was with me as you slowly cruised on by in the mall parking lot. Keep it zipped!

And the people who drive with their head up their butt don’t even see the light.

You aliens look like shrek

And the yellow light means “floor it! You have enough time!” /j, this is not an endorsement nor a reflection of my driving style.