Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for September 01, 2018

If the scores don’t matter, why count strokes?

If the scores don’t matter why are you even having this bogus tournament?

That’s why they call it a COMPETITION, Gil.

Just getting them to relax

Oh boy, maybe they’ll hand out participation trophies and healthy snacks.

Gil wants the St. Fabian kids to believe the scores don’t matter so that Milford can trounce them when they play each other.

I wish I had known about Gil’s philosophy junior year when our basketball team was 5-21.

C’mon boys let me show you how I use my putter..

P1, Well, yeah Coach, you started this tournament just for us so if we don’t win, we’ll get laughed off of every course in The Valley.

P2, Then you two haven’t learned a thing from this experience.

P3, I hope you remember that around Thanksgiving when football season starts, Gil.

In all reality , Fellas if you remember that scores don’t matter you won’t be disappointed when you’re not admitted into the the college of your choice due to low SAT scores . Remember what that great American philosopher Alfred E Neuman said What,Me Worry ?

“And now, a word from our celebrity tournament official, Drew Carey!”

“Thank you Gil. And welcome to the Milford Invitational, the tournament where everything’s made up and the scores don’t matter.”

Gil is giving away his strategy for the upcoming football season. The scoreboard will be removed from Mudlark Stadium, and in its place there will just be a big sign saying “It doesn’t matter.”

Wrong Gil. I think scores do matter. Now Tony & Wilson will really be confused. I know I am.

What really matters in Milford?

1) Pedro making the perfect mimosa for Mimi.

2) Marty Moon, stumbling home from the Mexican restaurant account after margarita mayhem. Sans Swisher Sweets.

3) Darby Kiser, working two jobs to feed her man/child Jaxon.

4) Fist Pump Family lurking in the shadows, righting wrongs while Dr. Pearl, Chief Lind and GilPa have no inkling of what the hell goes on.

Wah, wah, wah..(music track and laugh track) “now on to football”

These Juniors really have grown this year. And they are almost as tall as Gil.

Wait, you mean this is it? THIS is how the golf story ends? What was the big deal about this great tournament that Gil put together? Why were all the other schools so thrilled to join in when it has no point? Other than to exclude the schools with the players who jobbed Gil’s twosome out of spots in the Valley Tournament. I’ll bet they’re soooooo depressed about not being able to participate.

Unless this continues on Monday, although I don’t see why it will, this is maybe the biggest letdown in a long string of letdowns. And speaking of letdowns, I am not going to let you all down. I made yet another edition of Mopped Up Thorp today. I know at least cuttersjock will like it.

https://moppedupthorp.wordpress.com/

P3- Gil promoting the importance of the post-round shower…I’m thinking R & W do read this blog, these are lay-ups!

If you are listening R & W, I need a little Boone, Lark and Gattuso on the medal stand post-tournament

I used to read Gil Thorp in the 1960s and 70s, and just started to check it out again in the past week or so. The art style is much looser, but the story reminds me of the old strip. I will stick with it awhile. I enjoy a quick dose of sports and soap opera in the morning.