Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rod Whigham for August 28, 2018

Sorry, Gil, but after the Juniors there’s no interest in a lesser event. The Milford Invitational sounds like the equivalent of the Pro Bowl.

Gil isn’t going to “play nice,” hehe! “I’m taking my golf ball and going home!”

How many Clubs does the Great Milford Metropolis have, seriously?? Birch River is a nice course though, they had the 1939 Valley caddie tournament there. I like the name “Milford Invitational” pretty original and on par with The Masters.

Before the summer is officially over we need at least one stop at the pool to see Daphne’s “DD’s”!!!!

In all reality , Gil gets a call from the Valley Conference Commissioner , Thorp what in Hades are you doing running a golf tournament for losers in the midst of the conference football season. You know Milford forfeited it’s game last week and since your team hasn’t met the mandatory practice requirements , they will not be allowed to play .Are you/ dropping football for golf ?

P1, The Milford Invitational, playing for 2nd since 2018!

P2, Alright, Gil, you’re up to 5 players!

P3, Every club in the district except the winners.

Jeez Gil, you are next-level genius. Gil is talking with Vito from Goshen about the TonyWilson Invitational being the undercard for the Tiger/Phil pay-per-view. Gil is not happy with the 70-30 split on the action, but he saw what happened to Del Bader when he didn’t kick back on the school solvents contracts. Vito, for some reason, still doesn’t trust that custodian guy who was the mastermind.

By jove, it’s time for Moonpie to shake the cobwebs of his Summer stupor, empty his pockets of losing tickets from Milford Downs, wipe out the residue from his sippy cup, pack his Mr. Microphone and provide the mediocre coverage we come to accept.

It’s not like Gil to ignore two kids, is it?

“Even though school has started in the entire country, two of my kids will be on vacation”

P4: As Bobby Knight once said after IU lost to Kentucky, “we let those cheatin’ SOBs beat us!”

Oh boy, this will show them! The cheaters won’t be invited to some random “tournament” that means nothing. This will surely show them the error of their ways. They’ll admit what they did and allow the Milford kids to play in the Juniors due to their guilt.

Fantastic. Let’s brand them cheaters and make sure the entire district knows. I am sure all the other clubs will love to pile on.

The Milford Country Club starter will announce to all Junior Golfer Non Qualifiers participating in the Milford Invitational that Tee Ball rules are in effect , no scoring is allowed , everyone will be given the score of 72 , everyone is a winner and everyone will get the same beautiful trophy to take home!, in all reality.

Typical modern day solution..create another tournament and more trophies instead of confronting and resolving the problem. 5 minutes individually with each kid and you would have uncovered the cheating and disqualified all the cheaters. Instead the kids from Pine Ridge and Blackthorne play the real tournament and don’t even want to go to Milford’s second rate hack-a-thon.

Be still my beating heart! Or maybe I should say be still your beating heart? Because, believe it or not, a new edition of Mopped Up Thorp was just published!

https://moppedupthorp.wordpress.com/

In other words, at least another month of golf.

P2 & P3- So help me, some green war paint, broom, cloak and a Hogwarts style hat and presto! The Birch River CC Yute Coordinator is The Wicked Witch of The West.

Family vacations? Hasn’t school started?

The lightning bolt returns today but R&W didn’t sign there this time.

Pfft, I thought Gil was actually going to do something intelligent, like have his kids be scorekeepers at the Regionals, specifically assigned to the cheaters.