Amanda the Great by Amanda El-Dweek for August 25, 2018

I think somebody is a little jealous because he isn’t that tall.

A, as in armpit.

Yeah, I could see that coming.

Dan needs the same epiphany I finally had about 2006. My family runs tall, around 5’ 11" and up, except for my grandma, two aunts, and me. And I was really jealous about that for most of my life.

My 6’ 4" brother had to move in with my mother and me, he was sick and injured, and her health was declining, so we consolidated. One day I was doing the grocery shopping, and silently complaining to myself about stuff on top shelves, when it hit me – the grocery bill had TRIPLED since my brother (former construction worker) moved in. Sometimes even quadrupled.

Now, I’m no where near thin, but it finally hit me that one of the reasons he had no money is that he had to spend SO VERY MUCH on food. And clothes. And SHOES – size 16 is hard to find and always expensive.

Be grateful, Dan, for you don’t spend as much, you don’t hit the door frame, and you don’t intimidate people just by existing.

Looks like Dan thinks out loud like I do.

Dan, chill you are taller than Amanda, anyway.

Makes no difference when you are horizontal.

Recently had to take a group photo with the other audiologists at work. We were looking at the results and the only comment was how short I looked compared to the other 3 people.

“—dam’s apple.”

Arm pit?

A-dams apple….