F Minus by Tony Carrillo for September 24, 2018

um… you give Timmy ten apples?

Another annoying word problem!

Is this a pre-law class?

Tell Timmy that if he gives you one of his apples then you’ll have enough to make cider and some of it is sure to trickle on him.

“Timmy, you wouldn’t want these. See, someone has already taken a bite out of ’em.”

So I guess it is a political class.

Offer to sell 5 apples to Timmy.

Bake a pie.

Whats unfair about it? Unless you took them from Timmy, tell Timmy to go get his own apples.

Simple. Tell Timmy that he has to give back the two apples, to the community, of which you are the collective representative.

Can’t be done. Timmy want’s his “fair share.” Doesn’t care how hard you worked for your 12 apples.

Current school textbooks would be unlikely to use the name “Timmy.” They usually include diverse names from hispanic, middle eastern, or asian areas. Going forward, “Timmy” is a little too gender-specific for modern times. “Chris” would be better.

lie….just lie

Figure out how many apples he will accept as a bribe.

Find someone with no apples and convince Timmy that person is trying to steal his apples. Get Timmy to spend his apples building a wall and buying guns to keep the other people out. It seems to work with at least a third of the population.

Have six and give him six, or give the twelve apples to someone else, and neither of you will eat them

Easy. Timmy went to the apple tree and picked two apples. I went to the apple tree and picked twelve apples. How is it possible that’s not fair?

Never mind class that Timmy was shooting up when the apple picking occured.

School for liberals…..

Tell him you’re a republican, not a democrat, and keep his hands off your apples.

By pointing out that my parents paid for all of the apples?

Not enough information. What if Timmy only had none and stole his two apples from you?

Timmy needs a job.

Life is not fair. If you want more, work for it – although that doesn’t always go your way either. Instead of comparing ourselves to others and trying to “keep up with the Jones”, we need to be grateful for what we do have and not bemoan what someone else has.

Just convince Timmy that you are collecting the apples for charity and you need his to feed a poor child in Africa.

Tell him how the apples will trickle down to him, then go and eat all the apples for yourself!

Remind Timmy that, unlike yourself who has none, his apples are both McIntosh!

If you’re having difficulty coming up with an answer, just contact your nearest Republican representative. They have a million BS answers for problems just like this one.

Tell him about Trickle Down Economics.

confiscate his two apples….duh

Tell him at least he doesn’t have to pay the taxes for the extra apples, and it’s costing you a fortune

A future Republican who will believe in the ‘trickle down’ theory of economics.

How to be a Politician 101