Ben by Daniel Shelton for October 10, 2018

No comment! If you value your life.

Horizontal stripes NEVER make you look thinner.

IT’S A TRAP! (in Admiral Akbar’s voice)

The question most husbands and significant others dread the most.

Just say something like, “You never look fat, but it doesn’t show off your pretty figure”.

Always say yes. Endure some short-term pain to kill the question forever.

Not your color.

To paraphrase Jimmy Breslin, that question has killed more men than artillery fire. It should be assigned a number, like .357.

I don’t like it, those stark lines and that dark background dim your skin.

No, your build makes you look fat. But look who is talking.

Yes, it makes you look fat. Look in a mirror and you can see that for yourself. Don’t put poor Ben in that position………….even though he is a pretty cute ‘deer in the headlights’.

Some of us really want an honest answer. Just say yes and be done with it.

I’m afraid to comment.

Be Frank? Why, would he know how to survive this trap?

Just answer, ‘horizontal strips? What were you thinking?’

hehe…big Groucho fan…no you being fat makes you look fat…yes i’m single

Horizontal stripes make you seem wider than you are.

He should not waste too much time. Spotlighting is illegal.

A guestimated 40 year marriage can’t be that shallow. Ive been married for 30, and i know my wife would rather not go out in public in something that unflattering. She also knows my opinion of her isnt isn’t tied to how she looks in a particular set of clothes.

My husband knows – and has known since before we were married – that if I asked this or any other question I expect an honest answer. We have been married 39 years, before which we were engaged for 2, and dated for 4 – making 45 years together. No lies.

I would rather not look like those women who are in pants so tight that one sees their underwear and everything else – including their huge rear ends – or one of those women who really need a shirt about 4 sizes larger and look like they will rip the one they are wearing if they move.

What I would like him to tell me – and he never notices – is when my hair has slipped out of the clip I have on and is flopping about on my head.