Broom Hilda by Russell Myers for January 16, 2019

Make them cook it, Broomie. Serve them right.

Did anything fall off that nose?

Always give them two choices for dinner, take it or leave it.

You would have thought that as a intellectual that Gaylord would have thought twice about angering Broomie!

I like leftovers. Most of them end up in the soup pot and I make some great soups. Turkey tastes best when left over. But, some people will never eat anything except fresh. They must be very wealthy, or live with those that are.

If you don’t like them that way, we’ll fry them with a zap, and cook them at your table, like a fancy restaurant- but to give it that personal touch, you can hold your plates on your laps while I cook them!

We are having freezer roulette this week, as all of our storage containers are in the freezer.

If you don’t like what someone else cooks, don’t complain. Just learn how to cook and feed yourself. I like her response, though it would have gone better with a couple of zaps.

It’s never a good idea to piss off anyone who handles your food.

As if he wouldn’t get zapped if he dared do that.

Well, he is a buzzard after all.

One of these days when he’s pushed her too far, Gaylord’s is going to become a cloud of feathers and some smoke.

—That is, if you’re still alive tomorrow, Gaylord!

Have you met Mr. Zap lately, buzzard-breath?