B.C. by Mastroianni and Hart for January 17, 2019

I don’t even try. My best effort would end up as a pile of kindling where the door should be.

Nice. I’ll remember that. Sort of like ‘bless your heart’ is code for way to go dim wit.

What’s the code for “it sucks big time”?

The not so tactful trying to be tactful routine. A situation like that often has its roots with having to guess what the kids proudly made you in arts & crafts class when they bring it home and lovingly gaze at your face as they present it to you. And see that tortured look as you realize just what is happening inside your brain. That moment often ends with you remembering that movie scene where someone is saying “He did not choose wisely” and with nearly the same results. (“And next on tonights’ episode of Dream Crushers we’ll all get to have a good laugh as we watch little seven year old Billy’s father die ten thousand deaths as his son starts sobbing uncontrollably when his handmade gift is misidentified. For the third time… And just in this week. It’s a new record! Billy’s dad sure is a putz, right folks? Of course he is.”)

I built all of our cupboards and furniture using the simple style shown above by Thor; but I was initially inspired by the minimalist designs of Walt Kelly’s Pogo. Use good wood, forget the ornamentation, and let the grain speak for itself.

Maybe he should try again, but in stone.

I had a musician friend who had perfect pitch. She was a great pianist, but had a voice that left a lot to be desired. She once attended a performance at which the singer was a last-minute no show, and since the director knew she could read the music, he begged her to jump in. She reluctantly agreed, and the result was what you’d expect. Afterwards the director thanked her with the compliment, “You’re a good sport, Mary!”.

Ready for Passover (sacrificial blood on the lintel.)

“I don’t mean to be critical, but…”

Geophyzz… when dark furniture was popular, I made a lot of stuff with that design using 2×4′s and 2×8′s, including a roll-top desk.

Next time, IKEA.

Oh Swell, you invented a mineshaft. Now to invent a miner union and OSHA Regulations…….,

My mother gave me many valuable lessons, two of which are: 1. A friend will always tell you the truth; and 2. You can say anything to anybody AS LONG AS YOU KNOW HOW. That last one is VERY important!

“You did a fantastic job handling that project and on your own, too!”

I don’t think that it is up to code.

When you fail, just hang a shower curtain – if they had any way back then. :-)