Shoe by Gary Brookins and Susie MacNelly for January 30, 2019

I’m almost sure his wife abandoned him.

That depends on who falls asleep first

It’s my wife who snores

My wife swore she never snored. I argued that she did – although gently. I recorded her, one night to prove my point. She was not amused !

Fart and the bed is all yours.

give a man a fish and you feed him for a dayteach a man to yodel and you make him eat alone

You might want to look into a CPAP.

My house.

Went on a camping trip with some guys once and one guy snored like a bad muffler. He slept good but the rest of us were exhausted.