The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for January 25, 2019

Hey, we’re just creating a speed bump to slow traffic down a bit.

The pirates are about to find out why this doesn’t work. He’s just going to fall asleep on the plank.

Honk if you want him to jump.

Arrrgh! It’s the Spanish Armadillo…

Armadillos are born on the road dead.

Must be Texas.

So many armadillos end up as roadkill that Texans say some are born dead by the side of the road. Here we see one walking the plank to fulfill its destiny.

Reminds me of that Gilbert and Sullivan song about Texas pirates, “Tarantula, Tarantula.”

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To show the armadillo it was possible.

Punch Bug!

Sorry I didn’t read beyond the headline. If I looked any deeper I might have found some genitals to complain about.

In Minnesota they would be raccoons.

How’d that body of water make it to north Texas?

I wish I was in south AZ. Currently our wind chill is -20 F and our opossums and all asleep till May.

Nobody expects the Spanish Armadillo!

I wonder if Loudon Wainwright III ever considered armadillos. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uu5hzc2Mei4

I’m betting the local stevedore’s union would’ve voiced some strong objections when the design plans were submitted for that port.

I don’t see anything funny about roadkill.

Can Armadillos play Possum?

A dillo of a cliffhanger!

Arma dildo?

Keeping your weight under control will let you be a Monty Python fan who is not huge.