Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 14, 2019

You can also watch “reality tv,” which has nothing to do with reality.

This is just observation bias. Most people aren’t crazy. It’s just that the crazy ones are doing crazier and more noticeable things.

No, that’s been an option for a long, long time.

That’s the news anchor for channel WINE.

Pig didn’t know that was a option?

How does he think people became so nuts in the first place?

This is as weird as Timmy Failure

Rat has always known. And taken that option. Repeatedly.

Is this a rerun from every day for the past few decades?

IT’s the best option.

Option nothing. These days it’s pretty much mandatory.

The rest of the news is always mere details.

You should actively pursue your dreams rather than drink. Sorry that’s rather preachy but I’ll leave it anyway.

“Here’s to alcohol, the cause and cure of all of life’s problems!” – Homer Simpson

What no Beer in Rat’s hand ? …. Croc Power!

Oh, Howard Beale, where are you now that we need you??

This made me laugh so much because it’s true. Thank you Stephan, I needed that!

ha! I’ve been doing that for 20 years, Pig!

“I used to think that drinking just to get drunk was a waste of precious booze.”

Yes it is, Pig. Grin and beer it!

Cheers !!!

I’m mad as hell and i’m not going to take this anymore!

It’s always been an option

National Insanity, better hope we don’t do what Germany did, twice!

Hall of Fame. Home run.

They’re no more nuts than they always were. It’s just that the Internet and the proliferation of news organizations with political missions can now be used to fuel and coordinate their insanity. So much for democracy as a viable system. Come on giant meteor!

Pignorance is blitzed.

I think it was Will Rogers who once pondered why they close all the bars and liquor stores on election day while you vote for a candidate who’ll drive you to drink for the next four years.

Your balloon is still an option, Pig.

Why do they still have a 1970s television set?

Turn on, tune in, drop out. Time to being back the sixties.

Pastis tells it like it is!

Today’s news report from Santaroga.

Half the population thinks that the other half is nuts. And vice versa.

It is not the part of the population that is ‘nuts’ that makes most bad things happen, it is the part that is evil.

But they are assisted in doing evil because the part that is ‘nuts’ denies the existence of evil, and calls evildoers ‘nuts’ (ok, ‘mentally ill’, but please – putting on the PC candy coating does not actually change the meaning).

Because they do that, the resources of society are misdirected and therefore ineffective.

Evil and insanity are not the same. Treating them as if they were is what is ‘nuts’.

Why drink yourself into oblivion? You’ll just feel worse the next morning. Smoke yourself into oblivion. Then, you’ll still be stoned the next morning.

I noticed even Bloom County has finally abandoned the floor console TV set. Nice to see someone still holds onto the anachronistic cartoon tropes.

I think they would have definitely known that drinking and pretending none of this is happening is an option. I’m actually surprised they weren’t already drinking before they turned the television on.

Pig doesn’t Facebook?

The bigger the village the more idiots

Turing off the twitter-feed and teevee is another oft-ignored pair of useful actions.

TV “news” anchors have no problems with telling you bad things. In fact, they do it with a gleam in their eye knowing full well that it feeds outrage porn and drives up ratings.

Still taking now over 1968. Or 1942. Or… Um, any other time?

Sure. Drink yourself under the table. When you sober up, things will still be the same or worse, aaaaaand you’ll have a hangover! Good thinking!

Oh, yeah, Pig; it’s an option, all right. —Just not a very good one.

Besides, this is Valentine’s Day. To your health!

I AM THE WALRUS OF SUPRESSION, NONE OF YOUR IDIEAS SHALL BE SHARED MUAH HA HA HA